


Guess Monster

by Satorislut



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Bullying, Child Abuse, F/M, Fluff, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sad, Volleyball Dorks in Love, at the beginning at least, i swear they come around, the oikawa and ushijima is just a little part of it trust me its ushiten in the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satorislut/pseuds/Satorislut
Summary: Tendou Satori was nicknamed the "guess monster" why not embrace it. His predictions were going to come true if he wished hard enough.Or- tendou got angst and I wrote abt it
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Semi Eita & Tendou Satori, Semi Eita & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 131





	1. Middle school was gonna go great

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wanted this fanfic to be a little longer so I'll definitely try my hardest ti milk each chapter. The more angst the better! Comment any suggestions.

"What a freak! What makes you think you can even play with us? Huh??" The squinty eyed loud one said while spitting in his face. God this is getting old. Tendou wiped the spit from his face with his tiny arm. 

"Don't you guys get tired of doing this everyday?" The wide eyed red head asked. Curious gaze fleeting across his classmates. They cornered him at recess again. Just let me play with the grass, the flowers are pretty today too. 

The blonde haired girl with too many freckles stepped forward. "Shut up Tendou, at least we don't play in dirt everyday!" She smiled clearly proud of her statement, looking back for approval and getting it. Obviously, any negative feeling towards the guess monster was welcomed. Tendou sat there day after day and took this. He hasn't been caring as of recent. It only bothers him when they get violent. Which isn't very often.

"Dirt player!!!" The juvenile youngsters yelled before giggling and running away. Their overalls and sun dresses flying behind them as they raced towards the swings. Tendou continued to pull grass up and mix it with flowers. He didn't particularly mind being alone. He played by himself at home and he would gladly do it again. Plus most the kids his age annoyed him. They talked too much about unimportant things.

\\\\\  
They spikey haired 5th grader put his arm out and prevented the shorter 3rd grader from getting through. "Not today freak, no getting into volleyball until you help me and my friend here. See we're a little angry and we hear you're a loner so we figured you could be our punching bag." He smiled deviously.

Tendou knew how to handle these. Kids got scared easily, act how they least expect and they get flustered. Usually run away. "I'd love to." Came the simple response. Enough to set the older kids off. He knew what to do. This was too easy.

The 5th grades froze. "W-what was that bacon head." Said the blonde boy with the spikey haired one.

"I said I'd love to, would you like to start now?" He said letting a fake smile curl his lips.

"What the freak, this guys lost his marbles let's get outa here, Daikil. He's probably gay."

The blonde one sputtered. "Yeah, what a faggot! Remember that, Monster."

The two preteen boys ran off into the gym letting him through. Getting through school was too easy. This was child's play. Even volleyball was easy. His opponents were insanely easy to read.

×××  
"I'm Imai Riichi, I'm 9 years old and I'm excited to start school here."

"I'm Kanemoto Akiko im….."

The introductions blurred into nothing but static in Tendou's head. He looked around the room. Seeing mostly the same faces. But a few new ones. Although he did like being alone now that he was a 1st year in middle school it had become boring. He ached for companionship and hopefully someone in his class was friendly. He played with his fingers on his desk ignoring the sound of kids in his class going on about some nonsense. He didn't care. Tendou had interest in few things and if he didn't care for it he'd learned to blend it out. 

///  
He say down on the concrete tray in hand digging into his baloney sandwich. Oblivious to the approaching 1st years. He recognized them from last year all except one tall tan haired kid kid. Who seemed to have little interest in Tendou. "Hey look its the guess monster. What're you doing on the concrete for? Dancing with the worms!? That's so gay. Right guys?" The 'pack' leader's sported blue hair, it was sticking up all over the place in a fluffy manner. His goons snickered and muttered agreement. A shorter brunette girl came from behind the tall burnt tipped boy. "I bet he sucks dicks! Probably hasn't showered in weeks either" she teased "right Semi?" Her eyes shone as she looked at The ashen haired boy who looked at her uninterested. 

"Sure" he spoke returning to staring at the ground.

The brunette looked at him triumphantly. "See if Semi thinks so its true."

"Semi doesn't look thrilled to be here though. He couldn't be less interested." Tendou gestured. Had they not noticed? It was glaringly obvious he was there cause of someone or something. That wasnt there at the moment. He assumed at least. Maybe a friend isnt here today.

He noticed the black haired boys eyes meet his. The slightest bit of interest spiked in them before it was whisked away when the blue haired kid spoke. " shut up shithead. You're a homo fag anyway. Stop even talking about aakashi. You're lucky Ushijima isn't here. Semi and him are buddies. They'd tag team your ass." Tendou had noticed he finished his sandwich. So he got up to go inside and maybe play volleyball in the gym. "HEY WHERE AEE YOU GOI-" he shut the door behind him. Intent on getting to the gym. When he opened the door he was met with a few girls receiving and setting to eachother. Tendou grabbed a volleyball and started practicing his recieves. The foundation of volleyball is recieving. A few minutes of pathetically recieving the ball he was interrupted by the tall kid again.

"Hey, what's your name?" This 'semi' kid asked.

Tendou looked him up and down before deciding Semi wasn't a threat. Maybe even a friend. "I'm Tendou Satori."

Semi looked at him before answering. "Sounds cool do you play volleyball?" Satori nodded, "Great then you'd like to hang out with me and Wakatoshi." It was said simple it wasn't a question. He took the ball from Tendou, what position are you. I'm setter."

Tendou looked at him quizzically. "I'd like to play middle blocker. But I'm not very good." He tried to analyze this kid in front of him. It was difficult when his nerves were overriding any decisions hed make. 

Semi looked at him a little surprised. "If your bad why do they call you the guess monster? That doesn't make sense."

"Dunno. I think its cause I look like one." He shrugged. Not noticing the impending change walking towards him right now.

"You don't look like one who told you that?" Semi said, blatant as ever.

"Everyone I guess" Tendou said staring at the ball in his hands "wanna play now?"

"AH! WAKATOSHI! OVER HERE!," semi screamed at a olive haired serious looking kid who was wandering around the gym. Seemingly trying to avoid the girls talking to him. Said olive haired kid turned and padded over to the duo.

"Hi Eita, who's this?" His complexion was tanner then him and Semis. Far more bronze. He had a stronger nose bridge and deep brown eyes.

"Oh this is Tendou, hes a middle blocker! So that means I can set you can hit and he can block," a little more quietly he added. "He's the guess monster kid though he claims to be bad." Semi glanced over at the red haired child who definitely overheard everything Semi said.

"I'm happy I cant wait to play." The bronze god said. "I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi. You are?"

Tendou looked at him for a prolonged second before chipperly replying "oh im Tendou Satori!!" 

///

A tap on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. He turned around to see that none other than Ushijima was in his homeroom. He couldn't stop the smile that lit up his face. "Hi Ushi!!" His excited tone didn't go unnoticed. He could feel his bullies staring at the exchange in shock.

"Hey Tendou, how are you?" Ushijima asked, stoic as ever. Preferring to get his point across with as little words as possible. 

"Great! Now that I have a friend in my homeroom." Tendou winked and smiled at Ushijima again. Who crinkled part of his face into what Tendou translated as a smile.

"Hey cherry head, what're you talking to Ushijima for!?" Tendou looked over at the source of that cheesy insult. It was that stupid brunette girl. And now she had a posse of middle school bitches following her. Ushijima looked taken aback by her language.

Tendou shook his head and turned back to Ushijima. "How have you been?"

Ushijima was still distracted by the girls across the class. And momentarily looked back at Tendou to signal he'd be right back. Tendou sighed. Already knowing Ushijima wasn't coming back. He resigned to looking out the window. And like he predicted he didn't see Ushijima for the rest of class.

The next day at afternoon practice Semi strolled up to him. "Hey Tendou listen, me and Ushijima are involved with the cool kids at school and although we like you we can't hang out as often, cause of them. So Ushijima can't talk to you in homeroom. But we can still talk during practice. Is that okay?" Tendous heart sank. Whyd I think they'd like me. What's wrong with me. 

"Yup got it." He said shortly and walked away to practice sets. Leaving Semi upset and an incoming Ushijima confused.

…  
"Eita what happened?" Ushijima asked confused. He was planning on apologizing to Tendou.

"I'm telling him what Himari told us. Wakatoshi I know you liked him but c'mon we're finally popular. No more getting bullied. I'm doing everything in my power to keep it that way." Semi said a determination glistening without the ashen haired setter.

"Eita,but Tendou's bullied too. Isnt that mean?" Ushijima asked desperate for an answer. He liked leading but sometimes he desired guidance. He noticed Tendou got picked on. He and Eita had been bullied in their elementary school. And became friends cause of it. And Eita said that he knew just the way to get popular at their new middle school. Ushijima trusted him. And he did. Ushijima already had a girlfriend. Hirami. A pretty black pigtailed girl. She had shorter bangs but worked with her forehead. She also had red eyes. An Auburn color. They fascinated Ushijima. How they shone like the color of fall leaves. He liked warm colors. The chocolates and the blood red blending with the tans and oranges. It was intriguing.

"Yeah it is but we'll try to get them to stop bullying him okay? We just need to be bigger and better known!" Semi responded. That childlike glint in his eye.

"Okay… sounds good I guess."

…  
He had stumbled across some hair gel over the weekend. And his dad still wasn't home so he decided to mess around with it. And one thing led to another. And he had a new haircut. He quite liked it. Kept the hair out of his eyes. But he did have to cut a little of his hair cause the bowlcut was too straight. He put on his backpack and quickly started off for school. Head held high. He walked to school excited to show Semi and Ushijima his haircut. By the time he reached homeroom he knew he couldn't wait any longer. He turned around in his seat and started telling Ushijima about it.

"And so the craziest part is it stayed like that! I was like woahhhhh that's crazy. And look it's still like this!!"

Himari decided it was her time to shine and made her way over to the two of them. "Ushijima what's he doing to you now?" A look of what Tendou saw as evil flitted across her adolescent features. He moved in his seat. A little uncomfortable. Feeling like he intruded on whatever they had going on.

Ushijima looked at her. And seemed to accept what he had to do. "He was talking about his hair." He fiddled with his hands a bit nervous about his girlfriends reaction.

"Ew, C'mon let's go we can talk about fun stuff." She dragged Ushijima away. Metaphorically and physically. By the end of the week Tendou had given up talking to Ushijima. His girlfriend was always there to bring his friend away. She was a devil in disguise. She hates Tendou for so reason.

Whatever I least I still have volleyball. Curse his luck of course he ran into the boys he told off the other day. Regretting his last snarky self cause it looks like they bought a pocket knife. That's overkill I cant even fight. 

"So it is true you got a haircut. But it does look a bit long. Want us to trim it? It sure needs one." The kid talking twirled the knife around and Tendou tried to book it for the gym door which was a few feet away. But of course he couldn't cause as he got to the gym door awaiting him, a line of volleyball girls came out and he couldn't fit through. Not without being called a creep for getting so close to girls. He wanted to scream but ultimately decided to face them. Maybe he could knock the knife out of their hand? Might as well.

He started running towards the kid with a knife and tried to knock it out of his hand.it weakly flitted across the hallway straight to one of the other goblins. He had little reaction time before he was thrown on the ground. Face against floor. Cold surface burning his cheek and he felt his crunchy gel cracked hair be dismantled by the kids. He felt them tug on if. Scissors would hurt so much less, god can they just not be assholes. The was thrown around as they liked to say. They “accidently” stabbed him in the forearm and “accidently” slit up his thigh. And maybe the knife fell on his forehead a few times.

"Ahaha look how stupid the queer looks."  
Your insults are so juvenile  
"Pfft, jesus imagine talking to this loser"  
You say the same 3 things get more creative  
"C'mon he's not worth my time."  
You wasted MY time.

They left him. In his own hair as it piled around him. He felt tears sting his eyes. He can't cry, he can’t. He is above crying. He won’t give them that satisfaction. They’re not even here yet Satori still felt bound to them, like they could still see his pathetic form shaking. Outside the gym door. Clutching at his head as tears inevitably spilled and bungee jumped down his face onto the dirty floor. “Fuck just let me live” he said to himself anger spit roasting him. Swarming inside him, he slammed his small fist on the floor. He was tired of this. He just wanted to enjoy himself, he liked his hair cut. He shot onto his legs, eyes still wet and he made his way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror only brought a fresh wave of tears. Hot and salty streaming down his face. He looked crazy, parts of his hair still were intact but others had about an inch of hair left. Even if he went back to the bowl cut it’d still look crazy.

Maybe he should just embrace it. Just look more like a monster. Maybe they’ll shut up if I pretend I like it? He really didn’t want to do that. Jesus this isn’t funny, he hated this.  
...  
“Tendou? What happened?” a concerned Semi entered the bathroom and when he saw what had happened he immediately felt guilt seep through him. No, he told himself, you did what you had to or else that’d be Wakatoshi or you. He instead settled for a hug letting the slightly shorter boy hug him and cry.

“They- won’t leave me alone and I didn’t want them to cut my hair! I liked it, they just-” he choked on a sob and just cried into Semi’s shirt. Semi heard footsteps and saw a few boys enter the bathroom and look at the pair of them weird. Shit that was embarrassing. 

“Hey, Tendou let's go outside. I'll even get Wakatoshi.” Semi offered running his hand along Tendou’s back. His touch gentle, fingers ghosting the rough spine of Tendous back.

“Okay, thank you.” he solemnly agreed, tears pricking his eyes again. Semi led him outside of the school right next to the door into a little nook. It was shielded from view. He could cry freely.

“Stay here Tendou I’ll go get Ushijima okay?” Tendou nodded sinking into his arms.

I think he's practicing serves. Semi quickly made his way to gym, searching for Ushijima. When he finally slid open the doors he was met with, as per usual, Wakatoshi hard at work. Trying to perfect his serves. Looking at the volleyball intently before masterfully spiking it to the opposite side of the gym. "hey!! Wakatoshi, get over here!" He saw Wakatoshi look him over, confused before he relented and jogged over to Semi.

"Eita what is bothering you?" Wakatoshi had no idea that Tendou was outside crying his eyes out.

"Uhm so some of the kids cut Tendou's hair and stuff and he's outside crying and we're his only friends so I wanted to get you!" Semi spoke nervously, swiftly getting his points across. Not wanting to linger on the subject.  
...  
Wakatoshi immediately took action and ran out of the gym, not looking to see if Semi was following. Charging up to the outside door, and throwing it open. Quickly looking around he saw the red head curled in on himself. Eyes against his arms his lithe form shaking with each sob. Wakatoshi looked at him with pity and sprang forward enveloping the crying boy in his warm arms.

Wakatoshi wasn't good at comfort. He sucked at it. He'd leave that to Eita when he arrived. Instead he pulled the boy closer so Tendou's back was flush against Wakatoshi's chest. Hugging him from behind and just making sure the boy knew that he was here.

"Jesus Wakatoshi I cant run that fast" the door was quickly shut behind the Tall ash haired boy. Said boy crouched in front of the duo and looked each one over sadly. "Hey Tendou, I'm sorry. We should've walked with you to the gym." The boy looked at his hands nervously.

"Tendou. Me and Semi aren't letting this happen to you again. This has gone too far." Ushijima said, in his confident tone that sounded like he could carry the entire school on his broad shoulders. 

…  
Worry was a distant memory, being wrapped in Ushijima's strong arms, under his stoic face. Comforted by his reassuring voice. Any anxiety was smothered.

So this is what friendship feels like  
His little knowledge on the matter allowed for his feelings to be the baseline for all friendships. It seemed like if it wasn't this comfortable it was pointless. Anything that wasn't the bond Tendou managed to tie was unimportant. It paled in comparison to the nights he'd try to watch TV with his mom. Or when he got a really good block in a game. 

Prediction of the day- 

Middle School was gonna go great.


	2. Old guy is bad news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept loosing motivation while writing this but my pet peeve is when stories aren't finished so I promise I'll finish it!!

"Fuck off. Just cause Ushijima isn't here doesn't mean I want to deal with this bullshit." The red head said exasperated. His hair had grown out a little, and with a even cut it was a red mop on his head. Providing a little coverage. That didn't stop kids from coming after him. Semi and Ushijima promised to be with him. They didn't care about being cool anymore. The sacrifice they made makes Tendou giddy everytime. People care about me!! He had thought excitedly. 

/flash back\  
"Cmon Ushijima! Just ask your mom. Pleaseee. I promise it'll be fun and Semi's even coming!" The red head tugged at Ushijima's sleeve desperately. "My mom isn't even gonna be home to bother us pleaseee"

"Okay. I will consider it." The spiker finally relented. Not being able to really hold off when it comes to Tendou. The boy always brought it out of him. Smiles and all.

"YES THANK YOU USHIJIMA!!!" He was quickly smothered with a hug and a lanky 1st year clinging to his chest. "I'll take you there after school today??"

"Sounds good."

/end of fb\

"Jesus christ hes such a spazz. WE'RE TALKING TO YOU, SKINNY!" The blue haired one snarked, "my friend was talking to you. Answer him, fag."

"I'm afraid to inform you I don't give 3 shits about what you sai-"

The one with naturally bleach blonde hair jumped forward and smacked Tendou. "I asked if you were paying him off or something. Maybe you ran out of money and that's why he isn't here. Ushijima is too cool to like you. So which is it?" He finished by spitting in the red heads face.

Tendou furiously wiped him freckled face. Not wanting to give them the satisfaction that his eyes were starting to water.  
Cmon just act like you dont care for like 4 more minutes 

"Let's go," a brunette girl kicked his stomach. "Hes too stupid to understand what you're saying."

"Yeah, I have class soon anyway.."

Why cant they find a new target. It's so stupid. Am I just the universal target for bullying.  
Tendou got up ignoring the pain in his stomach. He scampers off to his pre-alglebra class. Hiding his stomach pain terribly. He didn't have friends in this class. So he sat at the back and lazily took notes. Waiting for volleyball after school. Every class was just on the way to volleyball.

///  
"Tendou! You ready for volleyball!! It'll be boring without Ushijima though.." Semi said deflating near the end of his sentence   
"However I learned how to set from behind me!! So it'll be crazyy"

Tendou let a smile tear his face open. "Ahah! That'll keep it funnnnn. Hm? Semi we don't need Ushijima to keep it interesting~ I'm pretty fun if I do say so."  
Tendou flicked the taller boys head.

"Oh c'mon tendo don't flick me that hurtsss"

"ALRIGHT 5 LAPS."

They made their way around the gym, the duo's formation not disrupted by the lack of a certain wing spiker. Considering he was always at the front of the pack flexing his athletic ability. 

Practice went on and Tendou savored every minute of it. He had friends in volleyball. That's all, he had friends.   
That was enough to keep him smiling.

xxx

"You can call me Wakatoshi now Tendou. We're friends."

Tendou stared at his companion in shock. They've been friends for a year at this point. And his friend asking him to say his first name was absolutely amazing. His eyes started to tear up. "Really- Ush- Wakatoshi? You mean that!? Thank you thank you thank youuu!" Tendou blasted out of his mouth and hugged his friend tightening his skinny arms around his friend.

"Yeah… hey do you want to come to my house or we can go to yours."  
Tendou heard the smile in his voice and he rested his head on his friends chest.

"Yeah! How about mine? Also.. can you call me Satori!?"he said eager. It's been a few months since he heard that name. His mom was on a business trip at the moment. She wasn't abusive or anything. Just neglectful. But when she was home she talked to Satori sometimes. And maybe they watched a movie together. 

He observed Wakatoshi. The curve of his brows that turned into a friendly smile. Barely different from his usual stoic features. "Okay Satori. Your house it is."

Satori couldn't hold in his squeal before jumping back into Wakatoshi's arms and hugging him tightly. "We're best friends right Wakatoshi. Me you and Semi!?" He looked up at his friends from the comfort of the others chest.

"Yes."

"Oh- what happened?" A certain ash haired setter happened to walk into the empty locker room as this exchange went on. 

"WAKATOSHI SAID I COULD USE HIS FIRST NAME!!!" Satori quickly turned on his heels and barreled into Semi "can I call you Eita!?"

Semi let the request process. His light features morphing into quick thought."Of course plus were gonna be 8th graders next year how cool will we look if we say eachothers first names. Right Satori?" He added emphasis onto the first name.

"Yesssss! Are you able to get out of chores this afternoon you can come to my house! My moms not home!" He smiled hoping to get a good reaction out of the setter. The taller boy sighed but couldn't bring himself to say he wouldn't ask. The red heads infectious smile convinced him otherwise.

"Yeah yeah but don't get too excited." The ash haired boy looked away. Trying to ignore the tint that rose to his cheeks. 

///  
Satori's house was small. It looked like a rental or something. It had basic old furniture. And nothing looked used. 

"Cmonnnn you two! Up in my room!!!" Ushijima had been here once before but his mom picked him up with 3 hours. And him and Satori had mostly played outside. As he followed the shorter boy upstairs he looked at the clean untouched walls. No family pictures, crappy art projects or medals. Just a blank off white drywall staring at him mockingly. I could never call this home 

Satori led him and Eita into his "room" which made Eita visibly cringe, Ushijimadid a better job at hiding his… distaste. It was a normal sized storage closet. It had a big thick comforter on the floor and a throw blanket framed by a deflated pillow. On the other side of the room was a few articles of clothing.

"I know it's small but Eichii got the room downstairs. So I got my parents closet. Sucks huh? The funny part is Eichii moved out when I was in kindergarten. But I cant just take his room. We can chill in there if this is too small!?" He looked back at his friends. A sudden insecurity fleeting over his face. 

Eita spoke up first. "Whatever you're more comfortable with Satori!" The ash haired brat may be a bit blunt and immature but he did have a desire to keep his friends happy. Especially when he's gone through a lot with you.

He saw Satori visibly relax. "Oh okay, I prefer my room. Come sit with me!" The red head gestured to the spot next to him on the matress. 

Ushijima simply sat across from the 2 boys. "We should play volleyball." His unusually baritone voice broke through the silence.

He watched with his deep eyes as Eita Ans Satori perked up at the mention of their favorite sport. The boys rushed outside. Ignoring the fact that the backyard was extremely overgrown. Probably hasn't been mowed in a year. Satori looked at him and Eita with watery eyes. Clearly embarrassed by his residence.

The red head looked down. "I'm sorry. But mom sold the lawnmower and I don't have money for one. So I usually play in the driveway." Ushijima noticed how his voice wavered and he gestured back inside.

"Alright that sounds great" Ushijima responded hoping to save Satori the embarrassment. He saw Eita nod while absentmindedly kicking his feet through the grass that reached his waist.

They went through the dull house onto the cracked driveway and began practicing. Ignoring the annoyance of having to retrieve the ball from the 2ft tall grass or from the ragged street. Soon the sun began to go down. And a car pulled into the driveway. He watched his friend freeze. Expecting a positive reaction at the unexpected visit from his mom. But he got the opposite. Satori instantly grabbed his friends and ran inside. He was dragged up the stairs by the smaller kid and was quickly moved into the freckled boys room. Squished against Eita. He made eye contact with his tall friend they both seemed to understand what the other thought.  
Somethings wrong. This isnt normal

Ushijima let his corneas take in the sight of Satori fiddling with his shirt sleeves while downstairs was commotion until it ended with a loud slap.

"SATORI GET YOIR ASS DOWN HERE" Ushijima flinched at how terrified his friend looked. He stiffly got up and rushed outside. Failing to close the door. He and Eita curiously peered through the ajar door. The were met with a skinny red headed woman. And another blonde haired male. In addition to that was a lanky 24 year old sprawled across the unused couch. His red hair splayed across his head. His hair was way lighter than Satoris and curly. It was average length for a male.

The blonde man was well built. His hair was ragged and he has shaved sides. It seemed he was naturally blonde though cause his hair wasnt black at the roots. The woman who was without a doubt Satori's mother had his wide eyes, but with bigger kinder looking pupils. And thicker eyebrows.

They watched the red haired woman grab her son. "Don't take your anger out on me! If you're upset use this kid. I'm not dealing with this right now" she put her hand over her forehead and walked towards the room at the end of the hall. Leaving Satori in the built man's grasp. Who's anger turned into confusion. 

"Theres another one of you?" He asked. Voice rough as he looked at Satori's brother. Who responded with a shrug and a smug smile. 

"Don't worry hes the good for nothing you wont notice him."

This angered Ushijima. How could they treat his friend like this? Like a piece of meat. 

…  
Satori began to notice his increased breathing. He was starting to panic. His mom has never expressed physical abuse. But she clearly didn't care about hin anymore. It was obvious she went out and got a boyfriend. She was also very drunk. She didn't usually get this blatant. Not to mention Eichii was here. Who was supposed to be 27 or something. It was a lot. He ripped himself from this unknown mans grasp and ran upstairs. His eyes were too blurry to notice 2 upset boys shuffling back into the closet. He shut the closet door quietly and launched himself into Wakatoshi's arms.

He couldn't stop his tears. They spilled hot and heavy out of his wide eyes. He felt Wakatoshi instantly wrap his strong arms around the red haired middle blocker. He knew they couldn't talk so he settled for sobbing into his best friends hoodie.

A good few hours later they were all asleep in Satoris Closet. At about 4am they were Rudely awoken by Satori who prodded them out the door.

Once his friends were outside he checked to make sure they both knew where their house was. Considering they had to go home a little early. So nobody could pick them up.

Satori shut the front door behind him. Taking a deep breath he looked at his house. It still looked uninhabited despite there being 3 people in the house at the moment. His mom probably left for something. She didn't stay around for long.

Satori bolted up the stairs, his feet lightly touching each step. He padded into his closet mindful of each step so he didn't wake up anyone. He did know this blonde fellow but he didn't trust the guy. Anyone that even remotely enjoys his moms presence isn't worth trusting. Satori's mom looked sweet and kind but her true intentions were obvious. Even the way she talked about her kids gave away her lack of care. After he successfully infiltrated his room he hid under the raggedy throw blanket. His safe place.

He wasn't sure but if he had to guess. This old guy is bad news.


	3. His friends were going to take care of him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god these are taking way too long to update. im really excited about the story though i have lots of ideas!!

Satori ran up his driveway hopping over the very overgrown plants. He stood in front of the splintered door that separated his two lives. When he entered this 2 story house he was subjected to Katashi and Eichii's triads until school where he had to deal with lunatics with nothing better to do. And even then he was waiting for practice where he could play volleyball with Wakatoshi and Eita. 

Whatever cant stand out here forever.  
Opening the door a loud creak echoed through the small house. Announcing the red heads prescience to the resident houseguest. One of whom was on the couch with.. some thug. Clearly doing drugs. 

"Hey! You. Boy come get us a glass of water no ice." Katashi, as Satori had come to find, was the blonde mans name. He was demanding and still didn't know Satori's name. He was also abusive cause, of course he was.

"Yes." Was Satoris's simple response. He quickly removed himself from the living room in pursuit of the kitchen. His clothes legs carrying his lightweight to the counters. Climbing on top of them his lithe legs brought him up to the desired height for glasses. Grabbing 2 glasses he carefully maneuvered his way down. Plopping the glasses onto the table he shimmied off the counter. He quietly filled the cups up with cold water. Excluding the ice as requested.

Tendou carefully brought the glasses weighing down his slender hands out to the couches. He silently placed them on the beaten down coffetabe.

Then excused him, running for his safe place. I hate him, he makes me so uncomfortable  
The red head buried himself in the comfort of the throw blanket in his closet. His solace was short lived.

"BOY GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE"  
Satori immediately hoisted himself onto his skinny arms. He hurriedly and clumsily opened the door and practically leaped down the creaky stairs. He faced the adult in question which was staring at him with pure disgust. "I asked for ice. You stupid dumb bitch! I can-" Satori just zoned out. Used to getting yelled at. He knew how to pretend to let it get to him. His evasion was interrupted by cold water making contact with his skin. "OH and dont forget the ice" 

What the f-  
Ice, actual ice was being flung at the red head. He covered his eyes with his hands. Shielding himself by curling in a ball. He let the various slurs fly over him unlike the ice being pegged at his small body. He felt himself get roughly grabbed by the arm. Next thing he knew he was face to face with Mr. Cigarette breathe. "If you forget the ice it'll be worse consequences I promise." The blondes lecture ended with a hefty amount of saliva degrading Satori's being. Ew what the hell. The red head nodded and ran into his refuge viciously rubbing any trace of the older man from his cheek.

He lamented the fact that his sibling reveled in his brothers pain. Everyone in his family was an ass. He could predict his oh so loving brother would be bothering him next.

His prediction did come true, as much as he hated that it did.

The closet door swung open as Satori was fiddling with his finger, the blanket enveloping his being. His wide eyes looked up to the person standing in his doorway. Eichii stood tall and mischievous. His curly red hair swept to the side. He probably was about to go out and get drunk. As he usually did.

"Heyy lil bro! How're youuu?" His slender figure bombarded Satoris's space as he sat down next to the younger boy. "I heard your idiocy reached Katashi. He was not so happy. But you got what you deserved. I guess all I can say is that I'm glad I wasnt here the last few years. Cau- dont look at me like that you fucking brat." Eichii's hand found itself around Satori's neck. Grip just enough to make the child uncomfortable. 

Satori squirmed, tears coming to his eyes. All he did was look less than ecstatic at this assholes presence. He pawed at the large hand encircling his neck. Scared that it would get tighter.

Eichii's face shifted into sympathy. "Oh my- I'm sorry Satori. Don't cry. Don't cry! Cmere" the Older man wrapped his arms around Satori like a snake trapping its prey.

Satori couldn't help but cry more. He knew this affection was short lived. And soon would be replaced with disappointment validating anger. His brother enjoyed toying with his brother. Blaming Satori for stupid things and using it as an excuse to be mean and further guilt the 7th grader into thinking it was his fault.

He was tired of this manipulation. He desperately tried to escape the males grasp.

"G-get off!" He did however fail to do so. And thus the arms tightened painfully so.

"What the fuck Satori!? I was being so nice I said sorry? WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

*thud*

The spiky haired boy was thrown against the wall of his "room". He had little time to react when a large hand assaulted his cheek. Matched with another hand ensnaring his neck. "You've always been so ungrateful. Let this be a lesson. Pull something like that again I'll whale you."

The speech was cut short with a tough pull of the earlobe and a not so affectionate pull of his wrist. Slamming him into the floor. He didn't have time to look up to see the door shut. But he guessed it by the sudden darkness. He let the tears finally escape at his will. Cascading down his abused skin into the abyss of his blanket.

///

By monday the bruises only got more noticeable. But to be honest he wanted them to be seen. Maybe then he could get his damn brother and this Katashi fella the fuck out of his life. 

He got on his uniform and made for the door quickly making his way out of the house. The familiar trek to school was surreal. The wind almost carried him it felt so peaceful. He missed the feeling of privacy and solitude. It was something he had gotten used to in the years he hadn't seen his brother and even mom.

Homeroom was hell as usual. The bullies would get bored and make passive aggressive comments towards Satori.  
Who would try his best to ignore them and pay attention to Wakatoshi. But inevitably would think about them on his way home.

"God I really would suck to be stuck with someone that clingy huh Ushijima?" A particularly ballsy student with cream colored (terribly dyed) hair had said. Casting a sidelong glance at Ushijima with Satori in between them. Very aware of the current situation.

Satori watched as Ushijima's eyes lit up. Not in the happy manner that's usually referenced. It looked like he hadn't even considered being angry since he was born. So quiet and stoic. But right now his eyes were flaming carrying a hatred reserved for people who hurt his friends. Satori watched, barely containing his smile, as Wakatoshi's brows dipped downwards adorning his handsome face with a scowl.

"Excuse me?" His baritone voice didn't waver. He hadn't questioned his friendship with the red head and certainly wouldn't now. 

Satori flickered his gaze to the student across from Wakatoshi. Who now seemed to start sweating. seemingly not expecting the stern response. "Go- god dude chill. I'm just kidding why are you so serious. Jeez it's no fun." The boy quickly got up and went back over to his group of friends. Who pretended they also weren't intimidated by the olive haired wing spiker.

"Wakatoshi-kunn you're supposed to spare their souls. Not scare them shitless! Ya doof!!" Satori chirped. Not bothering to wipe the joy of seeing a loyal friend off his face.

Wakatoshi looked at him for a minute. Clearly thinking before sighing and nodding his head. "Yeah. I'm sorry Satori they annoyed me." He let his face relax into a gentle smile. Which melted the red heads heart.

xxx

"I GOT ACCEPTED SEMI!!!" He didn't bother lowering his voice in the public space.

"JESUS SATORI- can you quiet down! People are gonna look at us!" The previously tall boy had stopped growing and was now about the same height as Satori. The latter just smiled. His curled lips showing off his teeth.

"Cmonnn you gotta be excited we'll all be going to the same highschool!" He bumped Eita's elbow playfully.

He watched Eita's face shift into a gentle smile. Clearly excited. "I'm happy. But your antics are gonna get us negative attention one of these days."

"You know you love themm" he teased. Bringing his cigarette scarred arm to his face to pull his bottom eyelid down while sticking his tounge out. Unfortunately for him, nobody noticed the bruises he would get from home. Nor the cigarette burns adoring his arms. After a while Satori had indeed began to hide them. Unluckily for him, his brother was still at home. Katashi had left a few months ago and nobody saw him since. But this meant constant psychological warfare. He didn't bother having friends over anymore. The promise of nobody being home a distant memory.

"I call telling Wakatoshi!" Eita yelled behind him as he began running for the gym. Where the mentioned was definitely practicing serves. As he usually did. It was common, a consistency.

Satori hopped up and ran after his friend. No way was Eita gonna tell Wakatoshi, that was Satori's news to tell. Typical Eita.  
Satori lunged into the gym through the barley open doors Eita left in his haste. He was greeted with a smug Eita sitting next to a confused Wakatoshi.

Not wasting anytime Satori bounded over to his bestfriends. "I GOT ACCEPTED INTO SHIRATORIZAWA!!" He said, his smile intoxicating. He watched Wakatoshi's face turn from confusion to something akin to ecstasy.

"That's awesome Satori! We'll all be together!" Ushijima's usually low voice lifted up a octave and they both noticed their best friends genuine happiness. It excited Satori to see his monotone friend actually care about their futures together.

"Well we're almost out of middle school so might as well play some volleyball huh?" He didn't wait for a response already knowing what it was. He turned around and grabbed the volleyball that had rolled away from Wakatoshi earlier. When he swung back around to throw the ball back at his friends he caught them smiling at him clearly the stress of Satori not getting accepted weighed on all of them. He basked in the relief of not letting his friends down. Something he commonly did, and the only way to express these feelings was to play volleyball as far as he was concerned. So he gave it his highest jump and most excited yelp before throwing the ball to Eita who received it happily sending it back to Satori who against his usual position set it to  
Wakatoshi, his consistency not failing now he hit is into the gym floor with a loud bang.

“WOOHOO!!” Satori couldn’t help the elated cheer. He could always count on his friends to back him up.

They practiced for an hour or two reveling in the time they had left in their middle school gym. Satori finally put the ball away, content with the progress they had made. The boys made their way into the locker room and against his better judgement Satori didn’t remember the bruises kissing his skin. While talking animatedly to Eita about a new Anime he forgot to position his back and arms away from Eita as he usually did unless they were really bad, then he would retreat to the bathroom. “No the coolest part is that Gajeel didn’t, he just accepted. Like you destroyed their guild dude how could you just joi- Eita?” His face paled when he spotted his friends cool brown eyes glued to a spot on his abdomen where Eichii had gotten carried away with Satori being his ashtray. Most of the damage was on Satoris arms and back but apparently as Eichii had said it. “It feels different to use your stomach”. Satori quickly threw a shirt on but it did little to help as Wakatoshi had noticed the silence and looked over. What Satori failed to realize was the shirt he put on was shortsleeve. Why in god's name did I pack this shirt. Fuck

Satori sighed and accepted his fate as Eita rushed towards his arm. Lightly picking it up and holding it out for Wakatoshi to see. The latters gaze darkened. Clearly unhappy with Eita’s findings.

Satoris eyes blurred with tears, next thing he knew he was falling into a strong hold and a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Satori, did… that guy at your house, did he do this?” The words seemed laced with hesitance. Almost like they couldn't believe what they were saying. The words clearly came from Eita who was currently running his fingers delicately down Satori’s arm. Another warm hand on Satori’s shoulder.

Satori let out a shuddering sigh. Knowing they’d find out anyway. He nodded. If they think that these are scars and since Katashi is gone they won't continue, maybe they’ll leave it alone. He's my brother after all. These are my fault if we’re being honest. “He hasn’t been around for a few months though, so that's good. Don't worry about lil old me, kay SemiSemi?’ He lifted his tone near the end of his sentence to provide reassurance to his best friends. He felt Wakatoshi’s arms tighten before eventually releasing him.

“Okay, Satori but just to make sure can we come over once more?” Wakatoshi spoke. Speaking his thoughts into existence as he usually does. Satori sighed now understanding the situation he put himself in. 

“Yeah for sure!! When are yall free??” he beamed hoping it was diversion enough from the anxiety he was feeling.

Wakatoshi let go of him and looked back at Eita. He seemed to the make up his mind. "Tonight I want to make sure right now. Nothing else is happening to you." The reassurance flowing out of the wingspikers words carried Satori.

Satori smiled and nodded. Ignoring the strange feeling in his chest at Wakatoshi's protectiveness. He let his eyes water momentarily before wiping them viciously into his already tear soaked skin. it felt so good to know hed be okay. 

That his friends were going to take care of him.


	4. he wasnt gonna get what he wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i do this everytime. i say the next chapter wont take a week then it does. so by next saturday the next one should be up. please enjoy the chapter and if you have any suggestions feel free to comment <3

Highschool came sooner or later.  
Shiratorizawa. Tendou had been ecstatic to go to this school. Especially with his best friends. Who didn't need to know about Tendou's older brother. Eichii had calmed down with the cigarette burns after Tendou said it was getting hard to hide. Eichii had calmed down with everything to be honest. He hadn't been inflicting psychological nor physical pain. Maybe his brother was getting better. It brought a smile to Tendou's face. Before Eichii had left he would, still play with the boy. Putting bugs in his food so he'd be afraid to eat. He loved psychological warfare. But even then there were times when Eichii would treat Satori like a prince. And it was hard to forget that. Tendou could only hope to rekindle their relationship. They could watch movies, bake shit, what normal siblings did.

Tendou stood outside his new highschool. As much as he would like to stand there for 10 minutes monologuing he knew that only happened in movies. He didn't have THAT much to say. Gripping his backpack a little tighter he entered the building that would hopefully treat him better than middle school.  
Fuxk ion know my class number..  
Tendou rifled through his backpack for the paper that gave him all he needed to get through the first few weeks. Locker combo, the locker number. Homeroom and schedule. 3-A… would be great if they included a map. This school is too big for me to navigate.  
Tendou nervously clutched at the piece of paper. He looked around and decided to just follow some other first years he recognized. Hopefully his homeroom is near theres. After discreetly following the group of teens he landed in a hallway with the class room he needed to get to. That was scary.. worked out in the end huh.

Looking up from his paper be repeated the words 3-A in his brain. Entering the classroom labeled as his he took a seat at the back of the class as he normally would. No it wasn't a window seat where he could tune out the teacher and stare out the window head in his hands. Like in animes. It was the 2nd seat from the back it was actually closer to the door at the back of the class. There were a few people in the classroom. None of which were familiar faces. Which was good. No more risk of being a target.

Tendou sat at the desk blankly staring at the board. Maybe I should've gotten a window seat while I had the chance instead of making a statement.. looking over he unsurprisingly saw the window seats taken. Tendou turned around hoping that in the last 10 minutes maybe one of his friends had shown up. He really wanted to be in homeroom with them. 

By the beginning of homeroom it was confirmed that neither Eita nor Wakatoshi was in his homeroom. What a bummer.

By lunch Satori had met up with Eita and Wakatoshi.

"Lemme see your schedule too Toshi!" Satori chirped after swallowing his rice. Wakatoshi pulled his crisp schedule out of his bag and handed it to Satori who analyzed it. Squinting he noticed that Wakatoshi and Eita had like 5 classes together. Lucky bastards. He also noted he had no classes with Eita and fucking one with Wakatoshi.

"Fuck.. welp guess I better make some new friends? Maybe the volleyball team with have some." Returning the schedule to Eita and Wakatoshi. Holding back tears. Hoping they didn't notice his voice breaking.  
These are my only friends why the fuck would the universe do this. Just let me enjoy them. Loneliness never felt so real for Satori then on the first day of highschool. When he realized that his friends would get close while Satori stood on the sidelines watching.

Eita looked upset as well clearly not happy about the arrangements. "Well uhm I heard that their rooming clubs together. So theres definitely a possibility that you could be roomed with one of us. Plus we have volleyball together. Nothing is gonna take us apart!"

///

Satori was lucky, he got roomed with Wakatoshi. Who he couldn't contain his excitement from. Eita had gotten roomed with Yamagata. Who seemed to hit it off with Eita right away. The first few weeks were very exciting for Satori. He didn't have to go home to his brother. Cause now he had forms. To be honest rooming with Wakatoshi was a lot of fun. Wakatoshi liked to study. But he did what he needed to study he never overdid it which left time for Satori to talk to him. They usually discussed volleyball or Tendou would talk about an anime and answer any questions Wakatoshi had. During this time Wakatoshi had made Tendou really question himself.

Seeing Wakatoshi's arms in a different light. And now that he worked out as well they got even more muscular. And when he got back from the shower with a towel around his waist and wet hair. It was enough to make Satori's nose bleed. Later in the year Wakatoshi would often sleep in Eita's room. Because he was too tired to come back after studying with Eita. Satori took these times to explore his sexuality. And after a few experimental porn sessions he concluded he was indeed gay. On top of that. He liked his roommate who was way out of his league. And was too preoccupied with Eita to remember to talk to him. Fuck. Why couldn't he just liked girls. They weren't as risky.

"Wakatoshi- kun! Did you read the manga I gave youu?" Sliding off of his bed the red head asked smiling.

He watched at Wakatoshi's stern gaze transferred to Satori. Wakatoshi looked at him for a second before shaking his head. "I showed it to Eita and he said he wanted to read it. So it's probably in Eita's room right now." The wingspiker returned to staring at his computer. Not noticing Satori's hurt gaze.

I can't get mad at him. As far as ge knows I like Eita as much as him so he wouldn't know that, what he did would hurt me. But it still feels like he doesn't care about me at all. I'm just someone to listen too. If he even feels like listening. As of recently everything is about Eita. Fucking annoying. Eita has his roommate why cant I have mine.

Satori didn't say anything and moved himself back on his bed. He felt tears pricking his eyes. I'm not fucking crying. Yet the tears poured out. Silently thank god. Though Satori always thought silent crying was worse. It felt more lonely like you were keeping everything in instead of letting it out in sobs. He clutched the sheets desperately. Knowing Wakatoshi wouldn't notice so he was basically here alone. 

Wakatoshi was still staring intently at the screen so Tendou took the opportunity to leave the room altogether. He debated going to Eita's. But the stinging pain of seeing the manga he lent to Wakatoshi sitting at Eita's desk hurt. It's so stupid, but he was a little protective over his crush. He was allowed to be right, as long as he didn't take it out on Wakatoshi. It was the red heads fault not Wakatoshi's.

He let his feet lead him outside the volleyball gym. Sighing he bent down and sat outside. It had rained earlier that day so the concrete was muddy and wet. It got all over his sweatpants.   
He let the sobs he'd been holding back wracked through him.

…  
The door shut with a thud and Wakatoshi looked around confused.  
I guess Satori wanted to get out.  
He sighed and looked at the time. He'd study for 20 more minutes then he could talk to Satori when he got back. Those 20 minutes went past quite quickly so he wasn't surprised when Satori hadn't come back. Wakatoshi closed the laptop. And changed into his nightly attire. Which was comfortable track shorts and a t shirt.  
Wakatoshi carefully settled into bed. He figured he could wait till Satori got back to sleep. It would be worrying if he went to sleep and Satori was out there alone.  
The top of his bunk bed was only so entertaining. He looked at the time puzzled and decided to go to his admittedly really good friend. Eita. 

*knock knock* Wakatoshi politely knocked.

"Fuc- fuck"  
"Its probably Wakatoshi get your clothes back on-"  
"Ah- Yamagata! St-op"

Their voices were low but in the dead of night it was clear what was going on. Within a minute Eita was smiling at him with messy hair and a flushed face.

"Hey Waka.. what're you doing here? I thought you were gonna study on your own?" Wakatoshi was still in shock at the fact that Yamagata and Eita were involved.

His face just stared blankly at Eita for a minute. Wakatoshi was a single guy and he said what he thought. And you might say he has a filter but his mind is generally filtered. Generally.

"You're having sex with Yamagata?" It came off as a question but wasnt something he could deny. Wakatoshi watched at Eita quickly pulled the wingspiker in, clearly embarrassed.

"Waka! Be quiet I don't want people hearing. God.. and yes but don't tell anyone!" Eita sat next to Yamagata nervously. The said aspiring liberal was still also in shock they'd been found out. Wakatoshi took a seat across from them. His mind was racing with questions. Bit the first one to tumble off his lips was the last one he wanted to say.

"How do I know if I'm gay?"

The room got stiffer. The air cold and dry. Eita's face went from anxiety to shock.

"WAKATOSHI YOU'RE LIKE THE STRAIGHTEST GUY I KNOW!!" Yamagata never did know how to shut up. Eita however nodded in agreement.

"Who is it Waka??" Eita seemed to be excited by the idea of helping Wakatoshi with his love life.

Wakatoshi stood still for a moment before considering it. "Its not one person in particular. But if I had to say I think Oikawa looks quite nice." What he didn't expect was for Eita to sputter and throw his face into his hands laughing.

"OIKAWA?? WAKATOSHI WHATT?" Immediately Wakatoshi started blushing. He never admitted that. The setter always hated him. And even went out of his way to upset the wing spiker. But he was very intriguing and his delicate features didn't help.

Wakatoshi nodded and stared at his hands. He knew it was just an ideal situation, it wasn't something he would pursue.

"IM GOING TO GET YOU TWO TOGETHER! Hes on Aoba Joshai this year. I know the current libero so I bet I can get you two together!! Ahh it'd be soo cute" Wakatoshi simply listened. He'd never thought of dating let alone dating another guy who hates him. Even if said guy was a model. And looked great when he smiled. Had a smooth voice, and fluffy hair. And almond shaped brown eyes. That sparkled when he hit a good serve.

Fuck

///

The morning light announcing the presence of the sun reminded Wakatoshi he had to get going. On Saturday's he woke up earlier and liked to practice with the teams setter. Although they were supposed to meet at about 6am Wakatoshi woke up at 4:30 to get a good morning run and a few power serves. After jogging to the gym he noticed something weird slumped a bit aways from the entrance. Wakatoshi made his way over to investigate.

It was his roommate.. that he had somehow forgot about lying curled up with dried tear tracks running down his face.  
Wakatoshi panicked. Why the fuck didn't he come back. Wakatoshi hadn't considered to check his room for his roommate before he left. He has spent the night with Eita. God he was an ass. Wakatoshi leaned forward and quickly picked up Satori throwing him over his shoulder. Wakatoshi had to carefully return back to his dorm. He walked with more grace, hoping to not awake Satori who already seemed out of it.

Getting the red head up the stairs was hard enough. Especially with a million questions running around Wakatoshi's mind. Why did Satori leave? Is he hurt? Hes still breathing right? Why was he crying? They finally reached the dorm and Wakatoshi rushed inside their shared room seeing it was indeed untouched.

Placing Satori on his bed he quickly went to grab the red head a change of clothes. Looking through his drawer he quickly realized the middle blocker didn't have much clothes. Wakatoshi decided to give Satori one of his shirts and pants. Hoping it wasn't too big for the lanky teen. Wakatoshi considered calling Eita but thought it would be rude to wake him up so early. And Wakatoshi was going to wait for Satori to wake up as well. But anxiety stopped him from extending that curtsey.

Wakatoshi slowly shook Satori awake. He watched at the swollen eyes blankly opened clearly not registering where he was. It took the freckled teen a minute before he sat up and looked at Wakatoshi.

No words were exchanged just silence while his red eyes stared into Wakatoshi's soul. Satori had opened his mouth multiple tike before closing it clearly unhappy with his word choice.

"I thought you had volleyball practice." The words Wakatoshi least expected to hear. The wingspiker was flabbergasted by the question.

"I just found you passed out. Right outside the gym all muddy and wet. I think you should answer my questions first." As he said this he handed Satori his clothes. "Also you should really get new clothes.. I had to give you mine."

The red head nodded and got up to change in the bathroom. Wakatoshi didn't notice the blush that had worked its way onto Satori's face.

After a minute Satori had returned back onto the bed, pants practically falling down his thighs. He looked at Wakatoshi, embarrassed. Wakatoshi smiled at him and motioned back onto his mattress urging Satori to sit down. His friend obeyed and sat down nervously fiddling with his finger. And for one of the first times in his life speechless.

"Satori. What happened. I want you to tell me everything that happened last night please." Wakatoshi looked at him hopefully.

He watched Satori tense, clearly uncomfortable. "Well Toshi.. I ended up at a bar and things got out of hand. And it led up to me throwing up and passing out while trying to get back home.. I know I shouldn't be drinking but I cant help itt." The olive haired teen looked perplexed. 

"Then why were you crying??" It didn't make sense. Satori didn't drink. Even if he did it shouldn't of gotten that out of hand. 

The red head went silent and looked at the sheets. "I dont even rememberrr. Okay Toshi? So let's just drop it?"

Wakatoshi couldn't help hit be skeptical. But decided that Satori would eventually tell him. "Okay… well don't do something like that again? I have volleyball so I gotta go." The muscled teen lifted himself up and waved goodbye to his friend.

…

When Wakatoshi left, Satori relaxed into his bed. He hated lying to Wakatoshi but nobody could know he was pining after the wingspiker. Nobody.

He wanted to tell Eita maybe even the vice captain of the team but it was really embarrassing that someone as inferior as him liked someone so out of his league. He could entertain the idea of it but not for long. Wakatoshi deserved someone pretty and short, even if Wakatoshi did like guys it would be someone like Oikawa. Pretty and nice normal coloured hair. Not too skinny but not too tall.

He decided on just talking to Eita. Standing up Satori awkwardly shuffled down the hallway in front of Eita's door. He cracked it open and much to his surprise two brown orbs were directed at the door. Eita was awake!

"Hey Tori!! What's up? Oh- shit I forgot yamagata was asleep so don't be loud alright?" The second comment was obviously said in a hushed and embarrassed tone.

Satori smiled at him and sat on the top bunk careful not to wake the aspiring libero up. He situated himself lazily on one side of the bed stealing a blanket.  
"Oh! Sorry i barged in, I just got bored."  
He fiddled with the blanket in front of him a bit nervous.

"Hey Satori.. wanna know something I just found out?? I bet cha do?" Semi wiggled his eyebrows and smiled at Satori.

It took Satori a moment before shaking his head in agreement. "Yea of coursee!"

Eita leaned in and said in a hushed tone. "Soo Waka seems to have a crush on that setter from Seijoh. Oikawa tooru? The one that always glared at Waka?" Satori felt his heart drop. He hadn't liked Wakatoshi that long but it still felt like his heart was ripped out. Of course. Oikawa had everything who wouldn't like him. Why did Satori kid himself anyway. He'd never be the apple of the Wingspiker's eye. Wishful thinking right!?

But Eita really didn't know when to stop. "I wanna set them up!! I already contacted Iwaizumi!! He said he'd help, surprisingly, I guess he really wants oikawa out of his hair right?" Eita smiled at him expectantly.

"Haha who wouldn't!? Hell yea Toshi's getting a boyfriend!! I didn't even know he was gay, goodness." He let his lips curl into their usual smirk. Him and Eita discussed Wakatoshi's future date in great detail. Planning everything out until Yamagata woke up and ruined it.

"Alright I'm gonna head out! We can talk about this on monday?" He didn't wait for the confirmation before grabbing for the door and speed walking back into his dorm. God dammit of course Toshis here changing! Why wouldn't he be

"H-hey toshi~ Eita told be about Oikawa. That's interesting huh?" He watched Wakatoshi blush and look at him. Fuck he looks good. The wingspiker sputtered and eventually came to his senses.

"Oh. Yes I did Express interest in Oikawa." Satori had a hard time not crying at those words. His crush just had to be his bestfriend. Great thank you universe I really appreciate it.

"Ohh? That's funny. I hear everyone likes him. You gonna stand out Toshi??" He couldn't help but want to discourage the bigger mans crush. Wakatoshi was a constant in his life and if he lost it to oikawa he might go ballistic. What he didn't except was for Wakatoshi's face to darken a bit and a curt nod and muffled excuse me. He left the room. He assumed to talk the Eita like he always did.

How do I fuck everything up. Jesus christ just do something right for ONCE. He finally let the tears out. Why cant he just have one good thing. Just this. He just wanted Wakatoshi.

He wasn't gonna get what he wanted. Why would he. The tears seemed to drag him to the floor in a blur. Reminding him of his place. Fucking dust on the floor.


	5. drunken haze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please enjoy. I really do hope your enjoying the story. Its fun for me to write and im writing a few oneshots on the side though theyre not out yet. I suck at writing a lot quickly. sorry

Tears of anger streamed down Wakatoshi’s Face. “I don't understand why he would say that. Its not like him and its fucking rude.” The use of such language wasn’t generally a part of his vocabulary. But his best friend treating him like that was quite upsetting.  
Semi gently rubbed Wakatoshi’s back. Wakatoshi leaned into the reassurance. 

“Ill talk to him, hes being an ass no doubt. Yeah Oikawa is popular but Waka you’re also popular amongst the girls. Theres nothing stopping you alright? I think he’s maybe having a bad day.”

They sat there buried in Semi’s words. And for once the usually unintrusive Yamagata added his two cents. “Remember we reached out to iwaizumi as well. Okay? So you guys are gonna be in contact soon anyway. Don’t listen to that idiot.” Wakatoshi felt his tears dry at the reminder. He was quite excited to talk to the setter outside of volleyball. “Me and Eita are gonna go talk to him okay. We’ll be right back” as he said that the hand rubbing circles on his defined back left and Wakatoshi sighed. Just now noticing the message from an unknown number on his phone.

Unknown Number: heyo Ushiwaka. Iwa-chan told me you wanted to “stay in contact” whatever that means. Its oikawa by the way!

Wakatoshi felt a smile grace his lips before adding Oikawa’s number to his phone and responding.

Tooru Oikawa: heyo Ushiwaka. Iwa-chan told me you wanted to “stay in contact” whatever that means. Its oikawa by the way!

Me: Hello Oikawa. I was actually hoping you’d meet me for dinner.

…  
Satori felt the breathe leave his body when his door slammed open revealing an angry Yamagata and Eita.

“Satori. What the fuck? You can-” An angry Yamagata started off. Seeming to have a lot on his mind.

“If you think you have half the right to talk to him like that you’re wrong. You barely know him these days! The first time he talks to you in a hot minute and he leaves crying! What is wrong with you. Are you so miserable with your own life that you’d destroy Wakatoshi’s confidence? Well bad news for you i guess hun, cause he and Oikawa are already texting. I can’t wait for them to start dating and for your bitter ass to see.” Eita was not having it, he didn’t notice Satori’s watery eyes. Or that his face was gaunt and his hair was knotty.

Already talking huh.. Guess i missed my shot. The idea brought fresh tears to his eyes and he moved on his bed so neither could see his eyes. Especially the reminder that he and toshi DIDNT talk. That Wakatoshi didn’t trust him as much as he trusted Yamagata and Eita. And all this faux closeness was formalities. Eita didn’t want to tell Satori they were growing apart.

“Are you going to respond Mr. know it all?... No? Thats what i fucking thought. What angers me most is that what you said had bad intention behind it. You didn’t say it to be nice and you know you didn’t so if you’re gonna hurt my friends maybe don't show up to practice for the next few days.”  
Seems Yamagata finally got that off his chest. Good for him,

He felt a hand grab his shirt collar and drag his face down from his place on the top bunk. He was met with an angry Eita and his scolding eyes. “You have been drifting away from us Tendou. And i think its better for all of us if i make this clear, we don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Okay, so find new lunch buddies- are you fucking crying? Pathetic bastard, don’t act like you cared about us anyway,” his shirt collar was released and he watched Eita run his hand on his clothes disgusted by touching Satori.

Satoris eyes stayed on the ground and he heard footsteps and his door shut.

The realization of his current situation hit like an anvil. 

///  
The next week was hell, Wakatoshi managed to change rooms, now rooming with another volleyball player, reon oohira. Leaving Satori with Reons roomate who was at his middle school. Thankfully his new roommate was only friends with his middle school bullies. So very little of his time was spent antagonizing Satori.

The one class he had with Wakatoshi was spent awkwardly avoiding him. Lunch was spent in the corner of the cafeteria, trying not to be seen. There was a constant knot of anxiety in his stomach. Every night was spent staring at the ceiling and aching to swipe a blade across his skin. But he knew he couldn’t get away with it. He changed at the back of the locker room and practiced blocking with a nice second year. Who was kind enough, and understanding enough but they weren’t Ushijima. They didn’t poke fun at Satori like Eita would. Days slid into one another, and eventually Satori found himself outside of a bar. Begging with the universe to let alcohol solve his problems. Entering the bar he noticed other highschoolers there, having a good time. He did wonder how he’d get alcohol when he was only 16. But when he asked for straight vodka he wasn’t questioned. It seemed that the bartenders didn’t care who got drunk.

The shot was laid in front of him and he stared at it, he hadn't had alcohol before and hoped it would make him feel better. Upon this realization of future happiness he downed the shot and barely felt it hit his stomach. Already asking for some other alcoholic beverage. By the end of the night he was throwing up next to some pet store. It was that moment, hands on the concrete the sounds of the suburbs white noise, that Satori decided this solution would do for now. 

When Satori did make it to school he was tired the whole time and didn’t eat lunch. Finding his stomach wouldn’t hold any food. His grades went downhill completely and he couldn’t bring himself to care. Too distracted at getting that anxiety out of his stomach. To wash it away with an ungodly amount of beer. As he suspected his absence at volleyball practice and plummeting grades got him kicked from the club by a concerned black haired woman. She really tried to get through to the red head but couldn’t manage it and eventually gave up. The end of the year was close and Satori knew he would pass, his grades earlier in the year had cushioned his downfall.  
The wind stirred him awake, looking up at the dawn sky he realized he wouldn’t make it to class on time. I really should go but i don't think my legs can move. He stared at his legs, eyes glazed over. He found it hard to move in the mornings, his circulation very poor. He assumed it was the result of very little hydration. He stared at the trashcan in front of him and waited until he could eventually move his muscles. An hour? Maybe 2 later Satori was sluggishly making his way towards his dorm. His once heightened senses were barely aware of Eita and Yamagata looking his way clearly judging his appearance and the way his legs moved.

It was probably like 9am, he could make it to his 3rd class but god that was a lot of work. And he could feel the anxiety building up again. He needed a drink. He had a hidden stash in his room, if he could just get there. After a journey to his dorm that took way longer than it should have. Satori finally fell onto his top bunk. Reaching under the pillow for a half drunk bottle of white wine. Thank god. He felt the wine hit his tongue and was whisked away in its strength. He was so focused on the anxiety leaving his stomach he didn’t notice the dorm door open or the hush of voices. He could hardly register his heavy eyelids giving out, and his lungs struggling. The sound of his stomach begging for substance. He was gone.

…  
Wakatoshi looked up from his phone and nervously looked at the door to the restaurant. Oikawa said he was 15 minutes away about 13 minutes ago. He couldn’t help the giddy feeling that entered his stomach. He was going to interact pleasantly with Oikawa. He got a little lost in thought thinking about oikawa and didn’t notice the man who sat down across from him until he interrupted.

“Hello Wakatoshi-kun”  
Oikawa was smiling, his brown eyes highlighted and his fluffy hair framing his smooth skin. He was wearing a light jacket over his white t-shirt. He looked breathtaking.

“Greetings Oikawa. I hope you made it here okay.” He felt his ears heat up and scolded himself. You're acting like a schoolgirl. Just be normal. Oikawa looked at him for a second.

“Ah i did! I've never been here before actually. Anyway I'd like to know why I, of all people, was invited here.”

Wakatoshi noted Oikawa's nervousness. Hoping it was a good sign he decided he’d make his interest simple. “I’m interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. I understand if you would rather leave after hearing that and you’re welcomed to.” Wakatoshi held his breathe observing Oikawa’s shocked face. Which was quickly morphed into one of confusion.

“Is this a joke ushijima? You know were rivals and stuff..”

Wakatoshi deflated. “I understand your concern, it wasn’t but i'll take that as a no. Than-”

“No. it wasn’t a no. I've always been interested in you but i just.. Never pegged you for a gay guy. Well not interested in you specifically or anything. You were just attractive and i noticed i never really thought it’d go anywhere!” oikawa’s face flushed completely and Wakatoshi found it mesmerizing. Wanting to listen to flustered Oikawa forever. He was extremely happy Oikawa was even considering it. He watched Oikawa ponder the request. Before taking a deep breath. “Okay. let's do it.. Let’s make it work.”

Ushijima felt himself smile before coughing into his hand. “I'm glad now what do you want to eat ill pay.” Oikawa laughed and then paused.

“I'm calling you Toshi from now on, got it!? Not a question, it fits you. So deal, alright toshi?”

Wakatoshi was initially taken aback but ended up chuckling. “Okay Tooru. Whatever you want.”

Oikawa looked at him and poked his tongue out. “I thought so. I’ll have sushi. Tuna.”

“Okay.” 

///

Wakatoshi walked feeling his phone buzz and opened it eagerly hoping it was Tooru.

Tooru: Okay okay, but i have to help Iwaizumi with spikes first so ill be there a bit late is that okay? 9:02 am

Me: That is fine. You can bring Iwaizumi with you if you want. I’d love to meet him.  
9:03 am

Tooru: ill ask him. 9:03 am

Wakatoshi felt a nudge on his shoulder and looked up to a snickering Yamagata and Eita.  
“What did you two do?” Yamagata put a hand over his mouth and swallowed. 

“Nothing, its just Tendou’s really pathetic these days..” Wakatoshi looked at them confused. Wakatoshi hadn’t thought much about his ex-friend. But was curious about what he was doing now.

“Why whats going on with him?” He looked towards Yamagata’s pointed finger and there Tendou was completely zoned out staring at his dorm. Seemingly completely lost in thought. He looked terrible. He had gotten skinnier and his hair was a mess. His eyes weren't visible from this far but the wing-spiker was sure they were bloodshot. This, against what he wanted to feel for the former middle blocker, worried Wakatoshi. It seemed he wasn’t the only one because Oohira had showed up at some point and voiced Wakatoshi’s thoughts.

“Guys he doesn’t look too good. I know you don't like him but he was kicked from volleyball and he’s in my Art class. He looks really out of it. Maybe we should check on him.”

Wakatoshi couldn't help but nod in agreement. “Yeah, he doesn’t deserve that. And maybe we can get actual answers. Lets go check on him.” turning he was met with an agitated Eita. 

“Oh come on Wakatoshi he probably let his grades drop so he could leave volleyball. I’m sure he's fine.” Eita seemed to stand firm in his decision because the way he looked at Wakatoshi pleaded for no nonsense. A dark skinned hand interrupted the quarrel he and Eita were having with their eyes. 

“I'm going. Just to make sure he’s okay.” and with that Reon was off. In the direction the red head was previously standing. Wakatoshi quickly followed, ignoring a protesting Yamagata.

By the time he caught up to Reon he heard hurried footsteps and looked down the stairwell at Yamagata and Eita. He placed a hand on Reon’s shoulder to pause him. An exhausted Eita and gasping Yamagata stood in front of them. 

“Okay.. okay we’ll come just to make sure you guys don’t miss class.” Wakatoshi placed a sturdy hand on eita’s ruffled locks.

“Thank you.” he said with his baritone voice. Oozing sincerity. 

They found the journey to Satoris door was quiet. When they arrived in the once familiar dorm, or outside of it. They noticed the door slightly ajar. And a quiet heaving coming from the bed.


	6. He really should confess soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this ones only abt 1,200 words but i wrote another one shot this week so i was preoccupied. And its a bit late. but ill try my hardest to update on Saturdays.

Wakatoshi’s brows raised immediately and he felt the urge to make sure his once friend was okay. He had to stop himself though and think before he possibly messed this up. Was this a sound of physical or emotional pain.

“....is he okay?” He was taken aback at the uncharacteristic worry in his friend's tone. He turned to look at Eita to confirm he just asked that. He was met with glassy eyes and downturned brows. He was gripping Yamagata’s hand. Said libero look just as taken aback.

As predicted Oohira was calm but also clearly worried. “I believe he is asleep, but he doesn’t sound too good. So let’s try to be quiet alright?” Wakatoshi was grateful that Reon was so level headed. He couldn’t possibly manage to think straight when he was so upset by the condition of his friend. It was hard to sit there and listen to uneven breathing, like he was desperately clutching onto life. It sounded so forced he couldn’t listen anymore. He quietly made his way through the door and did notice how everyone else followed suit. Tendou was laid on the bed, one leg halfway off dangling in the air, his pants were rolled up and you could see how discolored his leg was. In his hand was an almost empty bottle of beer. His head was faced towards the wall so you couldn't see his most likely messed up face. His hair was knotty and matted. Worry clawed its way up Wakatoshi’s spine. Eita jumped forward and gently grabbed the beer from the purple hand. He looked sick and disgusted. Though it seemed to be directed at himself rather than the poor soul in front of them. Eita turned Satori’s face with slender and careful fingers. His dark eyebags and bruised lips were very apparent. Eita seemed to break and hugged Satori desperately, slightly restricting his limited and rough breathing causing said red head to wake up coughing.

Satori’s limbs flailed wildly like he was being attacked. He tried so hard to push Eita off, clearly unaware of the situation at hand. Eita released him scared.  
Satori’s eyes flew open and he looked ready to bolt until he saw the scene in front of him.  
He instead brought his knees to his chest clumsily and backed up into the wall. He seemed widley unfocused but clearly terrified. 

Eita started tearing up and this time a little more slowly inched towards Satori’s bed. “What the fuck did you do with yourself Tori?” His voice broke at the end and Tendou could barely register it. It seemed like he could only understand basic stuff. After a minute or two of Eita silently crying while looking at Tendou desperately. The middle blocker finally responded.

“I got lucky.” A broken smile fell across his face. Terribly masking the pain that was apparent there. Eita got up onto the top bunk and hugged Tendou with so much force the red head was taken aback but lightly returned the hug. “Why are you guys …. Here?” he seemed to struggle to articulate properly. Like the idea of slurring out another sentence made him sleepy.

Reon smiled sadly and answered what the rest of them struggled to. “Satori we were worried about you. And for good reason. We also have to apologize for the way we treated you.” While he said this he nudged Yamagata forward.

Said spiky haired 1st year froze. He looked at Eita for reassurance and slumped his shoulders.  
“Satori im sorry i overreacted to what you said to Wakatoshi. But to be fair you owe him an apology too.” Wakatoshi felt weird, he didn’t want Satori to sputter out an apology. This thought was supported when at the mention of his rude comment Satori’s eyes seemed to glaze over and water threatened to spill. The red head looked at Wakatoshi immediately and bowed his head.

“I'm so sorry Ushijima.. I was really selfish and stupid.” Ushijima looked at the man groveling on a fucking bunk bed and felt pity. He had this need to take Tendou and hug the living daylights out of him but decided a simple shoulder pat would suffice.

“Tendou i would enjoy any continuation of our friendship.” at those words Tendou shot up and he looked so genuinely happy. Ushijima felt his insides move a bit at the smile gracing the red heads face.

…

Satori could barely contain his excitement, the mention of his crush sobered him up immediately. He wanted so badly to just get up and hug the handsome Wingspiker.  
Finally he felt safe and wanted. He had taken this feeling for granted. The moment he lost it he felt it tear him apart. He was brought out of his excitement by Reon.

“Tendou you’re gonna need to see the nurse though. You don't look too good what’s up with your leg?” Satori sighed. Knowing the conversation that would eventually break out. Right now the soft covers on his bed were screaming his name and his throat was raw. The idea of seeing any nurse was already making him tired.

“Reon i can’t right now… it probably dehydration, just can i get some sleep. Please i'm already getting a headache.” Satori hated himself for already pushing them away. But god he was so freaking tired and sore. The last few weeks have been a cycle of pain, desperation and laying on the ground trying to get up without irritating his hurt back. And now without any beer to ease his consciousness he needed to sleep. He was so relieved when Reon seemed to understand and ushered everyone out. Leaving him sitting in his own filth. He smiled despite the circumstances and felt light. He let this feeling carry his away into a world of No Oikawa’s and Ushijima’s who actually noticed his pathetic self.

///  
Summer was tough, having to live back at home was a nightmare. His brother was barely present leaving him in the closet all alone most of the day. He would occasionally meet up at Yamagata’s place which was huge. He was rich, very much so, they liked using his volleyball court as well. The worst part of the summer as his relapse’s. Eita, him and Wakatoshi sat down and talked about his drinking issue that hadn’t gone away and was now barely more healthy among the presence of water on a daily basis. Eita tended to cry about it a lot and couldn’t be in the same room when he was drunk. It saddened Satori to see it upsetting his friend but realistically he couldn’t do much about it.

The worst part about summer was when Ushijima and Oikawa got a little more intimate. Wakatoshi liked to bring Oikawa to Satori’s house when he came over. Satori rarely got to see said crush alone. Always with that brown haired bastard. Oikawa was.. Very similar to Satori. He loved taunting people but his favorite thing to poke fun at Tendou about was his drinking habits and his hair. Satori found it particularly frustrating because he couldn’t think of much to knock Oikawa for.

“Ohh, I see you brought your girlfriend again Wakatoshi-kun!” It also bothered him that OIkawa called Wakatoshi “toshi”. Something Satori had thought he’d coined. The first time he heard Oikawa pull that he felt himself freeze. The name was now permanently associated with Oikawa’s and Ushijima’s relationship. He watched the aforementioned setter’s face redden with anger and embarrassment.

“Ah toshi i always forget about the cheeto. He is quite unforgettable but maybe it's that i don’t want to remember his devilish lookalikes. Hm? Whaddya think it is Tori-chan?” The sly setter could dish it right back at Satori and the middle blocker was more then ready to get the last word in.

“Tooru id appreciate it if you and Satori weren’t at eachother’s necks this time.” The wingspikers gaze shifted to the redhead and he felt his spine tingle. The strong hand on Wakatoshi found its way to the back of Oikawa’s neck and he rubbed there affectionately.

Satori really had to confess soon or else Oikawa might literally drive him over the edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGHHHHH I REALLY JUST WANNA WRITE USHITEN. smh my head i didn't realize how hard it would be to make chemistry for i ship i litterally couldn't dream of. I dont ship oikawa and Wakatoshi at all. I dont see how someone could.


	7. Next to normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I HAD A FRIEND OVER FOR 2 DAYS THEN I HAD TO GO TO A RELATIVES HOUSE IM POSTING THIS FROM THEIR HOUSE. I'm trying so hard to update every week doe.. issue is I'll be on vacation next week starting the 3rd so.. hopefully I'll be productive enough to get ot out before then.

“Sure thing Toshii, i guess Tori-chan is one of your closest friends.” The brunette smiled widely. A smile that reminded Satori of his sick brother. He couldn’t help but be amused at the comparison. Oikawa was a king soul, he looked at Wakatoshi like he was the only man in the world. And what hurt the most was seeing Wakatoshi look right back at Oikawa with that fondness.

He noticed how wary Oikawa was of him. More likely than not Oikawa knew that Satori liked Wakatoshi. He wasn’t stupid, he was a extremely talented setter and that included reading people. This caused Oikawa to rarely leave him and Wakatoshi alone. The assumption Satori would immediately try to seduce Wakatoshi did offend him. He wasn’t a cat in heat. He had been friends with Wakatoshi longer than Oikawa even knew him.

Wakatoshi smiled. And finally sat down on the couch ushering Oikawa to follow suit. When they were both comfy on the couch Satori went into the kitchen to get a lemonade for them. That was their preferred drink when they came over. Satori brought two cold glasses of lemonade back and sat across from them. “How was the match on Saturday Oikawa? Who’d you play against.?”  
He watched Oikawa laugh.

“It was a practice match with Date tech.” Laughter immediately followed his statement. “It seems nobody of their new first years are really qualified to be the ‘iron wall’. Their all short. It was amusing to see the second years and third years carry the team. Meanwhile I'm the official setter with Iwaizumi already in the starting lineup.” Satori did fake a small smile in response. Oikawa was quite cocky but apparently that was his charm. Satori didn’t get it.

“Ah, I dislike one of the first years for date tech. The one with short blonde hair. He’s very snarky but can’t back it up with skill.” Satori’s eyebrows raised.

“Eh? Wakatoshi-kun not liking someone? That’s new. Are you talking about the one that was talking trash on the sidelines the whole time? He was annoying huh.. I don’t believe i know his name. Nor does anyone.” He couldn’t help but laugh at his joke. He really did enjoy taunting people

He noticed Oikawa snicker at his joke. And Ushijima stare at Oikawa's smile wistfully.

They stayed like that for an hour or two. Talking over lemonade and a sitcom in the background. 

"Alright, alright so what if I enjoy fairy tail. It's a fun anime! And the-" the sound of a car interrupted Satori. Shit shit shit. Eichii was here. He shot his head to the door and immediately panicked. His feet moved on their own grabbing Oikawa's arm and Ushijima's wrist. He urged them to follow him and brought them around to his backroom. He looked at them seriously before explaining. "My brother's home. You guys parked in the driveway correct?" He saw Ushijima nod slightly. Satori sighed knowing they'd have to meet Eichii. They couldn't drive away with Eichii's car blocking them in. This is a nightmare. Satori knew why they liked his house. His parents were never home. And neither was his sibling. He assumed Oikawa had no idea about Eichii. The door slammed open and Satori felt his blood freeze. He quickly got up and left the backroom. Shutting the door on his way out.

"Eh? Satori whose in the driveway? You still have friends?" He sighed knowing that he would deter Oikawa and Ushijima. They probably wouldn't come back here and he knew that the leisurely hours spent with Wakatoshi would come to a end. He felt his throat tighten.

"Um, my friends their in the back." He saw his brothers thick eyebrows raise and a smirk come over his features. He slung his coat over his shoulders and made his way to the backroom swiftly. Satori struggled to run after Eichii.

He had shaved sides and his hair was gelled to the side. Weakly, but still gelled. He looked like a straight stoner. His eyes were catlike. And when he opened the door Satori had just got behind him and witnessed his friends raw reaction to his brother.

Oikawa immediately grabbed Wakatoshi's shoulder and seemed ready to run. Wakatoshi looked just as protective and glared at Eichii. Satori pushed said druggie to the side so he could get in the room. He desperately tried to salvage the situation.  
"Uhm, okay well Eichii, this is Ushijima and his boyfriend Oikawa." He prayed Eichii wouldn't say anything stupid. He seemed sober for the most part.

"Aahh still hanging around with fags? Makes sense. Too bad their attractiveness didn't also rub off on you. Anyway, can you do me a favor I forgot my ashtray again." Satori nervously fiddled with his sleeves. He needed to get Eichii to move his car.

"Yeah sure I can help but I think my friends would like to go now can you move your car?" The taker redhead smiled and nodded. 

"Sure thing Satori." He grabbed his keys and made his way outside Satori turned around and looked at his friends. "Okay I'm really sorry I'm never sure when he may come around can you guys leave?" Oikawa answered for them

"Yeah we'll go.. what did he say about ashtray? Does he smoke?" Satori nodded and gulped. "Ah. Ok right well thank you for the lemonade we'll be on our way." Oikawa smiled and grabbed Wakatoshi's waiting hand before leading them out in a hurry. Running past Eichii on their way out.

The door was shut he was stuck with Eichii and his pack of cigarettes. "Ah, I tried plates but they just don't have that sizzle to them you know? Not as satisfying.." he quickly lit a cigarette up and sat on the couch. Feet on the coffee table. "Sit down will ya? We're having fun."

Satori knew what was going down and dreaded it. He sat hesitantly on the couch next to Eichii. He nervously tapped his foot. It was interesting, he should be able to finally put up a fair fight. But unfortunately for him it was hard to defy such a well ingrained memory.

He felt the burn of the cigarette hit his back, he hadn't even realized his shirt was pulled up. This sizzle the amd feint smell of flesh overcame his sense. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes. He bit his lips. Knowing that Eichii wasn't anywhere near finished with that cigarette just wanted to assert his dominance. This was a constant, He never could read Eichii it was a game of cat and mouse. Except the mouse never really did run away but instead transferred between paws.

///  
It was awkward when Wakatoshi texted him asking him to come over. It was more awkward when Eita answered the door and led him into Wakatoshi's well furnished room. Where toshi was waiting.

"Hello Satori, please be seated." He couldn't help but smile at how formal it sounded. He felt Eita kindly move his shoulder forward. He took the cue and sat down on Wakatoshi's bed. Toshi moved closer to him and Eita sat on the other side of him. "We were worried about you, we were sure that your brother didn't come back anymore." Eita nodded. And added.

"I'm also.. I wasnt there but Wakatoshi mentioned a ash tray and after last time.. is he still using you?" Before Satori could deny he felt a warm hand bring the back of his shirt up. Revealing his burns for the world to see. He shot up and turned on them.

"Okay I get youre worried but it's my business okay? That's my brother and it's my house." He couldn't help but get defensive. He wanted to have a normal life so desperately. Maybe if he pretended to want it, it would be normal. Just maybe.


	8. sidewalk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I WENT TO COLORADO AND ITS HARD TO UPDATE THEN.

“Satori seriously we’re worried. We know how bad it got for you, its sad to see you like this.” Eita had cupped his hand and smiled, the tall red head sighed.

“Yes he still.. Disposes his cigarettes on me. But i won’t have to deal with him after summer. He rarely comes by.” Satori couldn’t bring himself to care too much. This behavior was normal, the lanky teen was accustomed to manipulation and cigarette burns.

Still Wakatoshi seemed to tense at that. “Stay with me. Our house is big we have a lot of leftover rooms. Im not letting you stay there, me and Oikawa can figure something out.” Satori felt salty tears sting at his red orbs. Threatening to fall. The reassurance that was offered was unlike anything satori had ever experienced.

“God, yes thank you Wakatoshi!” He shot up and embraced the wing spiker in a hug. Wakatoshi was so reliable it almost hurt to know Oikawa had him. The stinging jealousy ate up through his body. Wakatoshi roped his arms around the red heads torso.

Eita smiled and rubbed a hand on the lanky teens cigarette ridden back. Satori ate up the attention and cried harder into Wakatoshis shoulder. 

“Seriously Satori, dont let this happen again.” The middle blocker slowly tore himself away from Wakatoshi. He turned and faced Eita smiling. 

“Thank you guy for caring, i appreciate it. Now after such a serious talk can we watch an anime? Pretty pleasee.” He saw a smile grace the setter’s lips. He heard Wakatoshi grunt in agreement and bathed in the idea of safety.

///  
Moving into Wakatoshi’s place wasn't hard. What was hard was packing the little he owned into 3 boxes. Seeing the pity on everyone's faces when he came in with his bed situation taking up two boxes and school supplies taking up the third. It was pathetic. Satori couldn’t remember feeling so empty. When the boxes reached the same capacity as him. It was comfortable to sleep without having to scrunch up your knees to fit. To have a bed all to yourself. To have more privacy than a few feet of empty air. The safety he felt knowing it wasn’t a psycho maniac opening the door. It was Wakatoshi or one of his siblings. He felt nothing but overwhelming love for the Ushijima’s. This paradise kept up for a few weeks.

\---  
Satori sat lazily on the sofa his feet on Wakatoshi’s lap platonically. “Wakatoshi-kun, no im telling you levi is 5’2.” He watched Wakatoshis face twist in a puzzling gaze. “How is he 5’2 Satori im not sure th-” The front door is opened leisurely. None other than Oikawa tooru enters. The look on the brunette is unlike his usual demonear. Ushijima doesn’t seem to pick up on the fragile mood. Satori notes because its especially obvious when the setter stares in distaste at Satoris feet. Resting on Ushijima. The red head quickly removes them. Satori mentally screams when Wakatoshi looks at him confused.

“Satori what is the problem? It is okay to rest your feet we are friends after all, Tooru will understand-”

“Are you fucking kidding me Wakatoshi?” Oikawa seemed mildly annoyed. Satori flinched at the use of his full name.

“You invite your gay friend who obviously has a crush on you to live with you. Which is bad enough. But to top it off I walk in physical affection. Tendou you’re not fucking slick. I know you like MY boyfriend. He might be an idiot but I'm not. News flash bitch, he's not interested he's just nice. Wakatoshi don't act like you can tell what is and what isn’t acceptable in a relationship you barely know how to fucking hold hands. I can’t believe the audacity you guys have to have. My only saving grace is how unattractive your buggy eyes are Kaiju-chan.” Satori could hardly breathe.

Holy shit he’d been outed. Ushijima is gonna know he likes him. Curled lips and all. He should be paying attention to Oikawa and Wakatoshi arguing. He really should. He knows it'll be important but all he can feel is emotions stinging through. Betrayal, why has he feeling fucking betrayed he never trusted Oikawa. Hurt, he knew he was conventionally unattractive. Bulging eyes and all. But the words Kaiju-chan, (roughly translated to strange beast) hurt, a bullet to the heart, a reminder of all he hasn’t overcome but instead repressed. He knew it was selfish to not be defending his best friend but he was honestly shocked.

“Tooru seriously this isn’t like you. You never had a problem with Satori you’re spouting nonsense. Come we can talk about this in my room”  
“NO WAKATOSHI. I'VE BEEN INSECURE ABOUT HIM SINCE WE STARTED DATING.” Oikawa took a breath and reaffirmed his statement. “It’s like hes always around us, no matter what he's always there. You don't even care about me, you just do whatever.” Tears started to stream down the setters face. Wakatoshi seemed to understand his mistake and quickly got up embracing the setter. Who pushed him away.

“Wakatoshi, id like to think about this for a bit we can continue this tomorrow.” When the cold air was abruptly swept in through the slamming of the front door. Satori felt tears start at the back of his eyes. He would hold them in. GOD FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE COULD BE HOLD THEM IN. he knew this wasn’t about him it was about Wakatoshi. He turned and saw his friend beside himself with confusion and hurt.

“I’m going after him.” Was all the spiker said before exiting. His coat flew on, and he was gone. Satori held the sobs on his tongue. He kept it there and let it fight again his teeth and rip at his uvula. He chained the tears to his eyelashes and kept them there. He had nowhere to go to cry. This wasn’t his fucking house. He was living with his crush of 2 years. Whose boyfriend saw through him. 

God for once in his life could he not grovel before the universe and do something. Move his fucking legs and tell Wakatoshi how he feels. JUST MOVE. Satori felt his feet carry him outside. He ran. Flew down the sidewalk with barefeet. Sidewalk, that was so kind to his calloused feet. He didn’t grow up with sidewalk. The torn up stray rocks and broken glass always welcomed his feet. Yet despite no fresh burns, no broken legs, no rocks in his foot. He still managed to be miserable. He still managed to throw a pity party while running after his wingspiker. Except he wasn't HIS. Wakatoshi was Oikawa’s. Oikawa didn’t have mommy issues. He didn’t pine after the same guy for 2 years. Oikawa got the guys everyone wanted. Oikawa walked on a sidewalk to his next want. Satori was thrown down a river with loose rocks to cushion his feet and a blindfold to trust when he wanted something. As the current is running dry, Satori is going to tell Wakatoshi how he feels even if its the last thing he does. Yeah Oikawa already said it but Satori is almost positive that Wakatoshi missed that.

Eventually Satori saw Wakatoshi’s parked car. How he found it, couldn’t say. How he reacted when he saw Oikawa and Ushijima, couldn’t breathe.

…

Iwa-chan: shitty kawa? 10:32am

Iwa-chan: Shit oikawa seriously, you okay whats wrong. 11:04am  
Missed call from iwa-chan 

Oikawa grimaced at he realized storming out of practice wasn’t the best idea. Aoba Johsai had been meeting up in hopes of practicing for nationals. Oikawa had been on edge ever since that red head moved in with Toshi. He had caught them together on many occasions. And practice was going terrible. His upperclassmen were pounding into him. Reminding him he wasn’t the best. They liked messing with him and Oikawa would mess around back but the mention of kageyama. That ticked him off. The ball previously in his hand fell and he swept out of practice. The confused murmurs an afterthought as he drove to his safe place. Ushijima. He parked and opened the familiar door. So ready to be embraced by his boyfriend. But his oh so loving boyfriend in a compromising position with that damned red head. He felt fury.

Oikawa: Meet me, I'm outside the sunflower cafe. 12:07pm

He put his phone back in his pocket and ignored any more vibrations. Oikawa knew he was slightly irrational but couldn’t bring himself to care. What he didn’t expect was for those broad shoulders to follow him. To see that damned car parked across the road and a strong Wakatoshi jumping out. Oikawa felt tears sting his eyes at the sight of his boyfriend.

“TOORU!” That voice carried, it carried Oikawa, it carried his hopes and dreams it carried that pesky red head. Tears fell forgotten as Oikawa stared at the approaching form of his boyfriend. Wakatoshi hugged him and Oikawa didn’t feel anything. Nothing. “ im so sorry, ill do better whatever you want. I won’t be friends with him. I really like you Oikawa believe me.” the breathe of Wakatoshi on his ear as he was embraced.

“Its okay Toshi. I’m okay.” Oikawa smiled at the approaching car of Iwaizumi. Who hurriedly got out but stopped at the sight. The sight Oikawa was in hugging his boyfriend in front of a cafe.  
He felt tears at the sight of Iwa-chan. So relieved that no matter what happened with Wakatoshi he has Iwaizumi.

“Tooru, you're crying I don't believe you. Please let me make it up to you.” Oikawa smiled when Iwaizumi kept walking trying to act nonchalant. Like a second ago he wasn’t worried.  
The spiker stopped a few feet away looking at them with an unreadable emotion. Some part of OIkawa prayed it was jealousy. 

“Okay” That word made up Oikawa’s mind. He’d let Ushijima try.

Ushijima’s grip relaxed. He felt the happy sigh on his earlobe before he was kissed gently on the cheek. Iwaizumi looked taken aback by the peck but looked away. Oikawa smiled warmly, Ushijima pulled away and smiled back at him. Oikawa saw Iwaisumis gaze focus on something behind him. Turning Oikawa saw that fucking middle blocker stood behind Wakatoshi’s car.

///  
Satori felt silent tears stream as Oikawa and Wakatoshi embraced. What did he expect a fucking argument. No cause that would’ve meant Oikawa would have a challenge with Wakatoshi. He wa so absorbed he didn’t notice them turn to face him. Cars zooming in between them. Satori wasn’t sure he could do it. He ran back, feet scrambling on the sidewalk. He gathered his 3 boxes worth of stuff, two actually who needed school. He ran to the living hell he so desperately despised. Back home. His feet carried him, through the end of the sidewalk and onto the crumbled up road. He stood infront of the house that held his terrors and said fuck it. He turned and sprinted back away from his brother’s car. He ran and eventually walked miles to shiratorizawa, there he found that alley where he lived day by day, drunk. Where food was a moldy lunchable. Where friends were the bartenders and street cats. Where Wakatoshi wasn't.

Sobbing was second nature. Alcohol was air. Again, cause that's all life led to. His feet were always cut up and rocks were padding every corner. One taste of that sweet substance and he was hooked. Even the beer reminded him of Wakatoshi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise on god, that next chapter will be ushijima x oikawa falling apart.


End file.
